![]() ![]() This feeling will pass – there is an end to this tunnel. When we get anxious driving through a tunnel, the best option is to keep going rather than try to escape. We can learn to notice the thoughts and feelings coming, and instead of jumping on that thought train, we can learn to stand on the platform, let it pass, and wait for the right train that will take us to where we want to go. We don’t attempt to jump on the express train and let it take us to destinations we don’t want to go to. We hear and feel it approaching, thundering through as it buffets us with a strong blast of wind. Standing on the station platform, sometimes we are advised to stand back as an express train will be passing through at speed. So rather than stop the thoughts, we can stop fighting them, and let them be, without reacting to them. We can allow the ball to float around us, just letting it be. It’s like trying to constantly hold an enormous inflatable beach ball under the water, but it keeps popping up in front of our faces. We try to stop thoughts, but that’s impossible. You might watch individual items as they pass – perhaps a thought floating on a leaf, a sensation as a log, an event as an old bicycle. But we can stand on the riverbank, watching as those thoughts, events, sensations, feelings go by. That muck and debris are thoughts, sensations, events, feelings, and that river is our distress as we drift helplessly downstream. Sometimes it feels like we’re being carried away downstream, struggling to stay afloat amongst all the mud, filth and debris. Victim 3 – looks at the bully (acknowledges the thought), then walks away and goes off to play football with his mates (dismisses the thought), then changes their focus of attention. Victim 2 – challenges the bully “hey I’m not stupid, I got 8 out of 10 in my spelling test this morning, you only got 4” (bully eventually gives up) Victim 1 – believes the bully, distressed, reacts automatically (bully carries on) Along comes bully, and takes on 3 potential ‘victims’ who all react differently. So neither can we escape our thoughts, we cannot stop them, but perhaps we can learn to live with them by seeing them differently. The children are all fenced in together, and ideally, they have just got to learn to accept and learn to be with each other. This particular bully uses verbal abuse, shouting, teasing, and threats (rather than physical violence). Any bullies in that playground mean that the other children can’t escape for long. Our minds are like school playgrounds that are surrounded by secure high fences – they keep children in, and others out. You can allow those passengers to shout and chatter noisily, whilst keeping your attention focused on the road ahead, heading towards your goal or value. ![]() ![]() You can be in the driving seat, whilst all the passengers (thoughts) are being critical, abusive, intrusive, distracting, and shouting directions, or sometimes just plain nonsense. Just that alone, seeing thoughts differently, helps to create a space, a distance, between us and our thoughts, which helps us to stand back a little, see things a bit more objectively, and make wiser and more helpful decisions about how to react effectively. The example metaphors here are to help us see thoughts – their nature and role - in a different light. Every culture and religion uses these types of stories, analogies, parables to improve understanding, make a point more memorable, and help us make positive changes. Therapy metaphors use a story or illustration to see alternative ways of looking at something. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |